I present a collaboration with the wonderful and extremely talented Paul Mercier, voice of Leon Kennedy from Resident Evil. Written by Michael Bryant and myself, based on ‘Twas the Night before Christmas, parodied Resident Evil 2 (Darkside Chronicles) style. Hope you guys enjoy!
(Right click and save, or if you’re in firefox and some other browsers, a player should stream for you!)

‘Twas the Night Before Countdown

Here is the text!

‘Twas the night before Countdown and all Raccoon City

Was teeming with zombies! It sure wasn’t pretty!

I slowly approached the Disaster with care,

And searched for survivors, but no one was there!

When came a rumble – I dove into cover!

And up rode Claire Redfield, She must find her brother!

And I, agreeing to answer her plea,

Said, “I know where to go – the RCPD!”

When they arrived, poor Marvin they found,

He was bleeding to death, prostrate on the ground.

As he died, he whispered one final request,

“Help the survivors and deal with the rest!”*

So the two of us left to set off on our search

When a Licker attacked in a horrible lurch!

We ran down the hall away from the beast

Dodging the arms of the hungry deceased.

When we climbed up the stair a child we found

But as soon as she saw us she ran with a bound!

Back down the stair the girl we did chase,

And there was Poor Marvin, by a Zombie replaced.

With some reservation, I shot Marvin dead.

“We must find the girl” were the words that Claire said

Outside zombie crows were cawing so shrill!

They came from the sky and flew in for the kill.

We shot at a few but avoided the flock

And ran back inside and Bolted the Lock.

When all of a sudden there came such a clatter!

We ran down the hall to see what was the matter.

A Copter had crashed, the halls were aflame

From the firey wreckage, the Tyant – HE CAME!

The creature was fierce and the creature was tall

No matter how much we shot he just wouldn’t fall!

No choice but to run, to the Library we went. *Emphasis on 2nd syllable of Library

And found our survivor, her energy spent.

Her name was Sherry, a scientist’s daughter,

Whose parents’ research begat most of this slaughter. *Emphasis on 1st syllable of research

In the labs downstairs was where they could be met,

Their names were Will Birkin and his wife, Anette.*Emphasis on His

But down in the basement was Irons, the Chief

Infected with G-Virus, much to our grief.

His body was mutated, it grew to great size

We quickly dispatched him and said our goodbyes.

We were searching for sherry but found a woman instead,

she was asian; hot stuff, and dressed all in red. *humorous moment

(her name was Ada but that’s all we knew,

The underground sewers she helped us get through.)

But then she ran off and we followed behind,

Where she confronted a woman, who was out of her mind.

She shouted “Thief!” and at Ada she shot,

But I jumped in the way and the bullet I caught.

The woman was Anette (pause) she brought shocking news.

Her daughter was infected with the G virus too! *emphasis on infected

But Annette refused to give up the cure,

“For Ada”, she said, “is a spy for sure!”

At that very moment, the tyrant appeared,

still undeafed, just as we feared.

The tyrant cornered me, a most fatal threat,

Ada quickly dashed in to repay her debt. *emphasis on 1st syllable of repay

The Tyrant, off balance she pushed in the pit.

And with a deep breath we sighed “I hope this is it.”

But Ada was wounded, she couldn’t go on.

Her body was lifeless, she appeared to be gone.

Meanwhile the G-Virus festered and grew

The truth of it’s horror began to shine through.

Sherry’s father, infected, had started to change,

Where once was Will Birkin, stood a monster Deranged.

This hideous thing was human no more

Even his wife became part of the Gore

Annette now dying, horribly maimed

“Please save my daughter!” she weakly exclaimed.

She gave us the antidote, which Claire did prepare

And off we went to end this nightmare.

We met up with Sherry in the Security Room

Now she was saved, or so we assumed

But the Tyrant was back much to our surprise

Attacked us once more but then Ada arrived

She flung a bazooka, and said “Here, use this!”

It might not have been Ada, but that we’ll dismiss.

The countdown was here, five minutes remaining!

We ran for the train but Will Birkin was gaining!

Sherry up front, we covered the back

When G’s final form began the attack

With thousands of teeth and tentacles rearing

It stabbed at us quickly, drooling and sneering

I shot out the Separator; the car then detatched

And sent the G Monster back down the tracks.

With a sigh and a shiver we were finally safe

We looked back at the horror we had somehow escaped.

Claire looked to me with a question to ask:

“What will you do now that all this has passed?”

I knew now that I had to answer this call,

“I’ll crush Umbrella – once and for all!”

….

Merry Christmas, Everybody~!